Weekly Enlightenment

This week's Enlightenment brought to you by:

 Mama Anderson

***(A popular direction of dinner table discussion is each day's spontaneous and incredible meal served by the wonderful cooks of the Oxbridge Academy)

Friday night, I found myself explaining to my table members the dreadfully difficult decision I had to make pertaining to which line to stand in at lunch time: the pizza line, where the edible prize awaited beyond the perpetual horizon of ravenous and raging teenagers? Or the seemingly nonexistent wait to vote for sophomore class officers?

And since I can barely tolerate my own hormones,  I went the lesser of maddening routes.

Therefore, I sat down at the lunch table sans pizza and sadly, sans "I voted" sticker, and rather with a cup of soup and a mountain of broccoli, cauliflower, and asparagus, and a certain pride one obtains when one is courageous and mature enough to, in the presence of peers, down such green and healthful foodstuffs.

This whole story was my excuse for scarfing down a couple servings of pot roast, corn, and mashed potatoes that evening, but rather than act as my alibi for such hunger, it presented the cook of the house an opportunity to share with us her wisdom and enlighten our minds with valuable information that will surely be of benefit to us in the future...

So she whips out her iPad and reads to us the description of the cruciferous vegetables, a group of veggies that contain many vitamins, minerals, and cancer-preventative properties, and most importantly,  the sugar raffinose, which induces flatulence, apparently... 

Broccoli and cauliflower are cruciferous vegetables.

Meredith pipes in to tell us that asparagus makes your----

"WE KNOW!"

Dad: "Well, you know, not everyone can smell it-"

Me: "Geez you guys i get it"

And Mom warns me of the consequences I may receive for my lunch choices, and reminds me of my PSAT the next morning.

(Sigh.)

What's a girl to do!